[Moppins-news] Moppins Mail

Sun Dec 17 22:06:48 PST 2006

Moppins Mail - coming to you twice a month
The official newsletter of Mary Moppins Cleaning Systems

Published By Mary Findley

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Today's Date...Dec 17,  2006 ---------------------------------------------------------------============================================================

Welcome to our new members. Thank you for joining us. Let me know if you need a specific topic covered. Do email me with any questions.

NOTE: If you have limited space to receive emails, I send a shortened version with only the month's special and cleaning tips. Please follow the directions at the bottom of the page to be removed from this newsletter and added to the short version.

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 [[[[[[[Special Flash]]]]]]]] 

Monthly Specials:  The new industrial cleaners that recently arrived have met with great results from many of you.  People have written in that CleanEz has finally gotten rid of mold on their awnings and vinyl boat seats, TerraPlus actually removed water spots on glass doors in under 3 minutes as promised and Benya brought a sparkle back to black stove tops. So for the remainder of the month when all three products are purchased together (this is for newsletter recipients only) you will receive a 20% discount. This is not being offered to everyone so the price will be changed only after your order is placed. Ignore what the invoice says. The discount will be given before your card is processed. And as a Christmas gift to you, I now have those wonderful yellow dusting cloths that have not been seen in stores for a very long time. You will receive one free with each $30 purchase. 

Gas prices are going back up. Our Filta Kleen will save you at least $500 in gas with every pint bottle. Filta Kleen increases gas mileage between 7 and 15%. For anyone storing a boat or RV over any period of time, it will keep your gas or diesel clean. Yes the cost is $43.95. One bottle treats 1250 gallons of gas or diesel fuel. The savings are tremendous.

[[[[[[[GREETINGS]]]]]]]] 

It is not often that I repeat a greeting but this one it seems is destined to become a classic like Tiny Tim or The Wizard of Oz had been for many years. Several of my readers have requested a repeat of the Louise Christmas story since their copy had been misplaced or read by so many people that the paper was gravy stained to the point of being unreadable. Some of you may want to skip on down to the Tips. For all my newcomers and anyone ready for side splitting good laugh, prepare by emptying your bladder first.

Thank you Doris for sending this. There have been thousands of people entertained by this story. 

Be sure your bladder is empty before you read this story. 

This is an article submitted to a 1999 Louisville Sentinel contest to find out 
who had the wildest Christmas dinner. This won first prize.

                                        Christmas with Louise

  As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace 
before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. What they 
say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas 
morning, although Jay's kids' stockings were overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung 
sadly empty. 
      One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and 
went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those things at 
Walmart. 
      I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. If you've never been in an 
X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour 
saying things like, "What does this do?" "You're kidding me!" and "Who would buy 
that?" 
       Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section. I wanted to buy a 
standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my 
truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour. Finding what I wanted 
was difficult. Love dolls come in many different models. 
    The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd 
only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled for "Lovable Louise." She was 
at the bottom of the price scale. To call Louise a "doll" took a huge leap of 
imagination. 
      On Christmas Eve, with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to 
life. My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning 
hours, long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with 
Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I went home, and giggled for a couple of 
hours. 
      The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. 
      We all agreed that Louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of 
the family could admire her when they came over for Christmas dinner. 
      Grandmother immediately noticed Louise. "What the hell is that?" she asked. My brother quickly explained, "It's a doll." 
      "Who would play with something like that?" Granny snapped. I had several 
candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. 
      "Where are her clothes?" Granny continued. 
      "Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran," Jay said, trying to steer her 
into the dining room. 
      But Granny was relentless. "Why doesn't she have any teeth?" Again, I 
could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride 
in the back of the ambulance saying, "Hang on Granny! Hang on!" 
      My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me 
and said, "Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?" 
      I told him she was Jay's friend. A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by 
the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was 
then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home. 
      The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who 
was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise that 
sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. 
    Then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell 
in a heap in front of the sofa. 
      The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa 
ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth 
resuscitation. My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants and Granny 
threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car. 
      It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember. Later in my brother's 
garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise's 
collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of 
her right thigh. Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we 
restored her to perfect health. Louise went on to star in several bachelor party 
movies. 
     I think Grandpa still calls her whenever he can get out of the house.

[[[[[[[TIMELY TIPS: 

If you are new to Moppins Mail and want to catch up the past several issues, they are available on my blog. http://amazingcleaningtips101.blogspot.com/. 

For anyone who is interested, I am now posting new cleaning tips several times a week. So be sure to bookmark the above address for new ideas to make your cleaning jobs faster and easier. They range from being short quick tips to a paragraph or two but hopefully will fill in a few gaps for you. Those new tips are actually taking the place of cleaning tips in this ezine since it is necessary to sidetrack this issue. 

I have been forced to nearly stop answering questions by email. Unthinkable as it seems people are now being paid to send questions over contact sections on websites when they find them on sites like mine. Their sole purpose is retrieving legitimate email address to send out sp^m newsletters. 

I hate to do it, but the sp^m being sent using my email address has gotten me knocked off a couple of search engines and is lowering my ranks in several others. Sales have plummeted month after month for the past year or longer. Since it is difficult to tell emails from people who truly need help and the bad guys, I have been forced to stop answering most questions. Those of you whom I know, to continue helping you will not be hindered.  

I have been able to help so many people over the past 9 or 10 years that it has been a difficult decision to reach. I have no choice. Just for your information, I do NOT send out sp^m.  People have harvested my email address. 

If you do have a cleaning question and I do not respond to your email, please forgive me. Do search my website for answers. There is the stain removal guide http://www.goclean.com/stainremovalguide.htm  floor care section http://www.goclean.com/floorcareguide.htm home care guide with rooms of the house as well as links to car care, Rv care and boat care http://www.goclean.com/cleaning.htm.

I am also in the process of updating my website with my new products. Since there are a lot of pages it will take a bit more time to finish especially with year end books and inventory to complete. But they are slowing getting finished. 

There are new pages that have recently been added to Mary Moppins. There is now a "Guide to Mary's Products" http://www.goclean.com/productguide.htm that lists each of my products, what the product cleans, the cost and where to use them for boat, home, Rv or car. It's all on one page and divided into categories such as mops, cleaner etc. 

Another new addition to Mary Moppins is our Garage Sale Page http://www.goclean.com/MaryMoppinsGarageSale.htm.  It is full of wonderful sales on several items that are excellent products but just did not have the interest I was hoping to have. 

Let's get back to this issue of sp^m for just a moment. There is only one way we can put an end to it. Sp^m will only stop when people stop buying products, services etc sent by sp^mers. When it is no longer profitable for them, they will stop spending the money to send it out. All the legislation in the world does not equal the power of money. Stop buying it and they won't come - period. 

I know my readers dread sp^m and purchase nothing from these people but there are millions of people who continue to buy. We can reach them so start this message going around and let the lack of monetary support put a final end to this onslaught of disgusting email. By the way I have written to companies such as the artist Kincaid, the Kaboom company, prescription companies etc telling them that I no longer will purchase their products because of the sp^m their affiliates are flooding me with, sometimes over a dozen times a day. The voice of the people speaks so let's holler good and loud! Stop buying their products and stop buying from affiliates and this abuse will end. Please send this to everyone you know then find alternative products. They are out there!

[[[[[[[SHORT CLIPS:  No matter what your faith or belief may this joyous time of year bring you many blessings. May your happiness be abundant and your life be filled with love from the one who gives us all these things. For those of you who are Christian, Merry Christmas. No I am not afraid or ashamed to speak of my love of Grandfather and our Lord. I am also very pleased to share in other faiths for learning of their ways has only enriched my own. It is only through acceptance and respect of our differences that we will once again find peace on earth and in ourselves as well.

Grins,

Mary Findley

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____________________________________________________________

Mary Findley

Mary Moppins Cleaning Systems

http://www.goclean.com

Phone: 1-800-345-3934

Fax: 541-688-7195

©Copyright 2006 Mary Moppins All Rights Reserved Worldwide

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